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Kitty Comes out... is in love with pans >.<
My story begins when I was on mysypace for the first time, I was creating my profile like all the hip teens were doing and it came to my sexuality section, it said "Gay, Straight or Bisexual"... Honestly I didn't know what Gay or Bi was, I was only 15 -16 and I have stated before I live a very, very sheltered life and didn't even know what that was and I of course did google research and saw that gay was someone who liked the same sex and then bi, well bi that caught my eye, bi was a person who like men and women. I knew that I had crushes on girls and I honestly thought that was normal and my mom wasn't the greatest person to talk to about all that so I was never taught wrong. Girls could have crushes on other girls normal right? No, I was wrong that meant that I wasn't a straight person from what I researched. Well, weeks go by and I stated that I was bisexual on my profile. My step brother one day was standing behind me, reading all the things that I had on there and of course the bisexual makes him gasp and almost scream, "You are bisexual...ewww that is not right (insert real name here)..." I was so red that I could feel my cheeks close to burning. I tried to exit my profile so fast before my mom entered with a mean face she looked at me and asked me the question I dreaded. "ARE YOU BISEXUAL?" I nodded softly as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What makes you think you are that?" I spoke almost in a low whisper because I thought girls were pretty. Knowing all the well that was a total lie because if I was honest I knew I would be in so much trouble. We never downed the gay community in my house hold but I was not allow to be one. She then tells me that I am not bi that thinking girls were pretty was okay but I am not bi, I changed it and after that I did all the research I could on it and made sure I was right, I was bi right I thought I was it wasn't confirmed until I was officially dating a girl.
That was an odd experience in itself because I was now dating a girl that I went to church with and that was the only time that we saw each other, so we would act like best friends in front of people and alone we were acting like a couple. At that point I knew who I was so I thought and I was ready to announce it to everyone but my home. I made sure no one was going to say anything and I officially came out as bisexual. The girl that I was dating was not ready and I was not having that because if I could do it with the house that I lived in then anyone could do it. Which of course, I know that now it is hard and my household wasn't the worst one as I thought it was but it wasn't the greatest and I did have a lot of problems mentally but that is another post for another day. After we split, I spend years dating girls and guys and both together (POLY ALERT LOL) It wasn't until I got with my daughter's father that I realized that I was more attracted to girls and wanted to be them full time.
I started dating a girl full time no falling back on a guy I was officially classified as a LESBIAN, what me no but I left my hometown and moved 2 hours away with the woman I thought was my soul mate, the girl of my dream, my everything but she was my wrong, my complete wrong. She made me classify as a lesbian because being with men was disgusting and I was not going to be a part of that, I couldn't be friends with anyone who was any other part of the LGBT community I was shut out from the world completely. I had to raise my daughter as a lesbian couple and I wasn't that comfortable with because I wanted her to have the choice of being who she wanted since I was not allowed to do so. She controlled my every move the only thing that I had to my own was Tumblr , that is where I found that there are other branches of the LGBT community that I did not know about. I didn't know what trans was or asexual or pan etc etc. The more I learned the I realized who I truly was. I honestly didn't care about the gender of my partner, sex was sex and making love was making love, I wanted to be able to date whomever I wanted. After a year of being together and a horrible break up, I moved back to my hometown and started my new life as a single mom trying to find a job (my first one ever) and getting my life back in to order.
I started dating both men and women and just was trying to find the one which wasn't going great. That is when I announced to the world I was Pansexual, I will say that no I have never dated a trans person or a non binary person but it has always been an option in my book its just so that a man is who caught my heart, no we are not a straight couple, because we are far from it, yes he is a straight man and I am a pansexual woman. I have been a proud and out pansexual for 5 years now and nothing will change that because I have found who I am truly am on the inside.