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BDSM Long Distant Relationships : Interview
So, since I have done interviews in the past, I thought that I would do interviews with people that are in LDR relationships, these people are all in a BDSM relationship...
Here are the questions and each person's answer, I will making some anon and just using the first letter and their last name.
1. How did you meet your partner?
E. Audain : My partner and I met while I was with my girlfriend at a Chinese restaurant. I was waiting for her to get off work and he was ordering food.. and we all bonded over a shirt he was wearing..
E. & S. Docherti : E: In a Facebook group, Our Safe Haven S: A Facebook group
2. What is your dynamic?
E. Audain :We're D/s we're Switches and also DD/lg
E. & S. Docherti : E: DD/lb, we are both switches, and alpha wolf/Little pup S: Ddlb, both switches, I'm a puppy, hes an alpha wolf
3. What made you want a LDR?
E. Audain : We didn't actually he can't do well with long distance but due to unforeseen circumstances I had to leave..
E. & S. Docherti : E: I'd never really considered one much before, but knowing Skyler, wanting to be with him S: I actually wasn't wanting one, I wasnt even looking for a relationship at all. I just started talking to Emory and one day I just knew I wanted him regardless of distance
4. How long did you two talk before they became your Sub/Dom?
E. Audain : We were friends for a year and a half and then I introduced him to the lifestyle. After a lot research and questions we decided to see how it goes and it's going well. Keep in mind I've been in the lifestyle for about 4-5 years.
E. & S. Docherti : E: Just over a month, but properly 3 weeks? S: He and I met in late April, started really talking in mid May started dating in early June after Emorys flatmate nudged him to ask me out
5. How do you two communicate? Please name all apps and ways of communication.
E. Audain : We talk over WhatsApp and sms sometimes I call but it's really expensive and as much as we wanna stay talking it's like 5 dollars for like 3-4 minutes..
E. & S. Docherti : E: Facebook, messanger, video calls S: We use Facebook, and messenger and skype if Facebook glitches out. Mainly through video calls and messages
6. Best apps for BDSM LDR?
E. Audain : WhatsApp Facebook Sms Calls; Well I use WhatsApp I don't know what other people use everyone is different I suppose..
E. & S. Docherti : E: Skype, kik, facebook S: Facebook, skype, messenger and kik
7. How long have you two been together?
E. Audain : A while... feels like forever tho..
E. & S. Docherti : E: Over 5 months now S: Just over 5 months or so
8. Have you two meet in person, if so your feeling when meeting them?
E. Audain : We have met in person numerous times.... I feel like I'm home, like I'm protected like there's nothing and no-one else in the world except him...
E. & S. Docherti : E: Not yet, but it's in the works to do so, we live 4,000 miles apart S: We haven't met in person yet, we live in 2 different countries so its hard to met in real life but I'm saving to see him tho
9. Was it scary at first? Talk about your first thoughts on the relationship?
E. Audain : Meeting him the first time wasn't scary we sorta just clicked and became friends immediately.. Talk about your first thoughts on the relationship? To be honest I was a bit skeptical cause I really wasn't up for relationships but he showed genuine interest in everything and was really sincere and loving and caring and patient about everything so.. I finally said Yes.
E. & S. Docherti : E: Yeah it was, personally I'm not good with long distance, and the time difference can be a pain sometimes, but it's all worth it S: I wasn't scared at all honestly, I've been in LDRs before and I know how to make them work. My first thoughts honestly were how lucky am I to find the best person for me.
10. Advice to those who wish to be in a LDR?
E. Audain : This is only for you if you have a lot of patience and time. If you can stand the late hours, the sad faces, the tears when you're being missed, the frustration of not being able to hold them and comfort them when words seem not to work. The longing in your heart when you're counting the days when you can see them, feel them, hold them just everything that you couldn't have done across screens.
E. & S. Docherti : E: Be patient, communication is probably the biggest thing in ldrs, vetting is very important, make sure you know the person is exactly who they say they are, if you are unsure but are going to meet up with them, make sure it's a very public area S: Go for it. If you love the person then try it out. Just remember it's a huge commitment with being in an ldr it involves a lot of communication and trust.
11. Advice to those who wish to be in a BDSM LDR?
E. Audain : Patience, love, understanding and smiles.. Thoughts in general of the subject? Not for the feint of heart, easily stressed it irritated or easily annoyed and frustrated..
E. & S. Docherti : E: They can be hard, but very rewarding, opening your mind to new things like ldr can broaden your knowledge, it makes you think, think of better ways to approach things S: You have to really explain how you feel, what you wanna do, and when it comes to doing a scene (whether over video call, voice call or messaging) you have to be extra descriptive and pay more attention to minor details because those can be the most important and are often overlooked in an ldr Thoughts in general of the subject? LDRs can be hard, but if you commit right, have a lot of faith, and communicate as often as possible the pay off is so worth it
I did have a few others that did do the interview but I am not going to lie, they got lost in my messages, I would love to do a part two to this and interview a few more couples, speaking of couples the reason I did both the Docherti couples together to compare their answers!
I hope that you enjoyed this interview and answered some of the questions that you may have.